In the Arena

Courting Constantine

2008-10-24T14:20:00.006-05:00

An estimated 20,000 Christians were martyred under the rule of the Roman Emperor Diocletian. Before him, thousands more died with the approval of Emperors Domitian, Trajan, Marcus Aurelius, Septimus Severus and Valerian. The blood-letting finally diminished when Emperor Constantine issued the Edict of Milan in A.D. 313, legalizing Christianity in the Roman Empire. The good news? Christians had a "friend in the White House" and persecution came to a virtual end.

The bad news? The Christian faith has always thrived and grown under persecution and stalled when persecution ended. Secondly, Christianity became Christendom - a religion of the state rather than the faith of a changed heart. Christendom is a culturally western substitute for a relationship with the living God. We cozied up to Constantine and distanced ourselves from Christ.

For the last two decades in America Christians cozied up to Constantine again. Many Christians openly locked arms with Republicans and created what has come to be known as the "Religious Right". Christianity has paid a heavy price. In the minds of many, Christian and Republican were virutally synonymous. Crossing the line of faith felt too much like having to become a Republican and some understandably couldn't take that step. I remember an author who is a Christian lamenting this alliance between Christians and Republicans. I offered a hearty amen to his lament. Recently however, I noted his very public affiliation with the DNC. What's the difference? So many who thought the marriage of Christianity and politics was a bad idea over the last 20 years are not so idealistic as we approach Nov. 4.

I know, I'm meddling. I do worry, though. I worry about the fallout when Christians trumpet their candidate for president or congress or their political affiliation. I worry that we obscure the greater message. What about the left-leaning person who tunes you out when you wear your red state loudly. What about the Republican who can't hear you over your zealous endorsement of Obama. We can rationalize it away and say that we have a right to be engaged in politics and the listener shouldn't be so thin skinned, but I worry. More than the next four years, all of eternity hangs in the balance. I'm simply pushing for caution.

I believe we do harm to the Great Commission when we cozy up to Constatine, whether Constantine is Democrat or Republican. Our hope is not in McCain or Obama. Our hope, and the hope of the world, is in the Living God. Will we continue to put unnecessary political barriers in the way of those who thirst for living water? I pray that our political zeal, whether left or right, will not undermine our highest calling. There is too much at stake to keep courting Constatine.

31 Suggestions for Christians Wanting to be Married

2007-07-03T10:01:00.000-05:00

31 Suggestions For Christians Wanting to be Married

Much of the work for a great marriage begins before you’re married.
Pray daily for your spouse to be.

Marry a Christian. If you have dedicated your life to following Jesus, the chasm between your priorities and passions and those of a non-believer is significant. This only becomes more complicated if you have children.

Singleness is not a curse. Jesus and Paul were single.

Avoid the temptation of believing that marriage will bring fulfillment and instead, learn to be content whatever your circumstances. You’ll be a much better spouse if you find your contentment in Christ.

Other than your relationship with Christ, there is no decision that will so roundly impact your life as the one regarding whom you will marry.

Don’t date someone you wouldn’t marry. If it becomes clear that the person you’re dating doesn’t meet your criteria, end it quickly. Let them get on with their life.

Our cosmopolitan culture responds to biblical admonitions regarding lust, sex, and premarital sex with a great big eye-roll. In a world of emotional anguish, rampant sexual abuse and addictive behavior, and STDs, a better perspective might be that these admonitions are given by a Father who wants his children to be truly free.

Take the time to become a healthy person before you inflict yourself on someone else. In other words, be the kind of person you want to marry. If you need to work through some stuff in counseling, do so. You’ll never deal with all your baggage, but you can unload some of the big rocks.

Ask yourself a simple question: Why do you want to be married? If the answer is anything other than, “I want to serve and bring joy to another person for the rest of my life” you're not ready.

Decide now what kind of person you want to marry and what kind of person you do not want to marry. I recommend making a list of those attributes you desire in a spouse.
Decide which attributes represent the non-negotiables on your list and commit to those items. Do not cave.

Do not marry potential. Marry the person who is already what you desire.
Read His Needs, Her Needs by Willard Harley and memorize the top five needs of a man and woman.

Opposites may attract, but in the long run, they repel. While radical differences make for great Hollywood storylines, they make for troubled marriages. Compatibility is everything.

Go slow. There are good reasons for pithy quotes like, “Haste makes waste” or “Fools rush in where angels fear to tread.” Date your prospective spouse for one year before talking about marriage or getting engaged. If you feel compelled to move quickly, ask the question, “What’s the hurry?” If he/she is the right person now, he/she will be the right person in a year.

Experts repeatedly tell us that money-issues are frequently at the center of failed marriages. Eliminate debt and read Dave Ramsey’s Total Money Makeover.

Do not marry someone who is unwise in their financial habits.

Marry someone you respect and admire.

Do not marry someone with the notion that you will “fix them” or change them.

Do not date or marry someone for the purpose of rescuing them.

If your closest friends and family have reservations about your potential spouse, you should pay attention.

It would seem to be common sense, but do not marry someone who is abusive in any way.

Be wary of the person who enjoys making you the butt of the joke, belittles you, or treats you with contempt in any way.

A bad conversationalist will not magically become a good conversationalist after saying “I do.” BUT, I have observed that many men who were great conversationalist while pursuing a spouse, abandoned that characteristic after marriage (if not sooner).

Likewise, serious deficits in character do not magically disappear. Again, do not marry potential.

Men, read Ken Nair’s “Discovering the Mind of a Woman”.

When you marry someone, you’re marrying their family.

Guys, once you’re married, 90% of the time, you just need to listen instead of fixing the problem.

I don’t know who said it first, but the three words a women wants to hear most are, “Tell me more.”

Read the Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman, discover your spouses love language, and speak it.

Be ready to forgive and ask forgiveness at all times.

Forgo the need to be right.

My Name is (not) Earl

2007-04-19T06:18:00.000-05:00

Several weeks ago, I offered $20 bucks to an individual in need. I felt pretty good about myself and was probably wishing someone had been around to see my philanthropy. After all, I live in a city familiar with philanthropy. Emory University, a campus only a mile or so from Veritas' worship site, has received some $230 million dollars from the very generous former president of Coca-Cola, Robert Woodruff. In addition to millions in monetary gifts, Asa Candler, the first president of Coca-Cola and Woodruff's predecessor, gave a land gift to Emory University enabling Emory to move from Oxford to its present location. The amazing Georgia Aquarium was the result of a $250 million dollar gift by Home Depot founder, Bernie Marcus. Clearly, as I handed over my crisp twenty I placed myself some pretty good company.

Here's the rub, within a few minutes a Decatur policeman noticed a leak in the rear passenger tire of my car and kindly brought it to my attention. Since I was right next to a local Goodyear, I decided to take care of it right away. I passed the time in a local coffee shop and on my way back to Goodyear I was almost flattened and killed. While I was standing at an intersection waiting to cross the street, a car began pulling out of the Goodyear parking lot and toward the intersection where I was standing. Nothing strange about that. As the car got closer, I did notice one peculiarity; there was no one in the car. I deduced that the car, having no navigator, would likely continue on its present trajectory. I moved to the left and my deduction turned out to be spot on. The car slammed into a telephone pole against which I had been leaning.

After reveling for a few moments in my powers of deduction, I walked into the Goodyear where I was greeted with a bill - for $20 dollars. Wait a minute I thought. That's not how this is supposed to work. I just gave away twenty bucks. That's not the way church people tell the story. Here's how this should have played out:

I give twenty bucks to the person in need.

Unbeknownst to me, a passerby observes my goodness and pats me on the back.

I drive home on tires full of air.

I walk into my house only to find a mysterious looking envelope that someone slid under the door.

I open the envelope and to my surprise (not really) I find an anonymous gift of $40 dollars; exactly double the amount I gave away.

I stand in front of the church and tell everyone about this miracle.

This almost never happens, but church people would have us believe it happens a lot - that this is the norm - even a principle. I have a name for this "principle": Karma Kristianity. Do good to others and you'll see an immediate reward that compensates and typically goes beyond what you have done. It's a "My Name is Earl" faith.

Though Scripture teaches nothing of the sort, Americans and particularly American Christians are practical Karma Kristians. Do good, get good. Do bad, get bad. The individual who for years serves God sacrificially and with a smile doesn't allow the thought to rise all the way to the top for a long time, but one day it breaks through. When success doesn't happen, the refrigerator breaks down, the tire blows out, the relationship slams against the rocks, it breaks through. You owe me, God. I've been working like a slave for you and this is what I get? We shake our fist at God. I think of Salieri (albeit as unfairly portrayed in the movie Amadeus). For years, the composer Salieri slaved away "for the Lord" and saw little to no success. And for years he watched as the licentious Mozart lived an ungodly life, but enjoyed unparalleled success. The inconsistency finally drove Salieri insane.

And it will drive us insane because it has not basis in Scripture. Which is to say, it has no basis in reality. King David lamented time and again that the wicked prosper and "good people" suffer. Paul gave the second half of his life in service of the Gospel and wrote most of the New Testament, yet he met with beatings, stonings, snakebites, shipwrecks, hunger, and a host of other dangers. All of the disciples but two died gruesome martyrs deaths.

On the other hand, sometimes I am Mozart. Not the genius Mozart - the licentious Mozart. I am ingenius only in my ability to sin. I can really mess up big and despite my wretchedness, God gives me some amazing gift. This is the paradox of God. He will not be treated as a slot machine. I cannot put my quarter in and expect a goody to fall out. God will never be my indentured servant. He will never be in debt to me. He owes me nothing.

All that God gives is the result of his mercy and grace; unmerited favor. He gives in spite of my unworthiness and He withholds punishment in spite of my wickedness. Thank God that He does not operate according to Karma.

A Little Advice for Church Planters; humbly submitted by the least of all church planters

2007-03-23T09:20:00.000-05:00

Not exhaustive and someone else has probably said it before me and better than me.

Submit yourself to a thorough evaluation of your calling and readiness to plant. If the evaluators say no, consider carefully whether you should forge ahead in spite of their wisdom. At the very least, get a second opinion.
If your wife is not on board, do not plant.
If you are presently on staff in another church, keep the senior pastor informed of your plans, do not steal sheep, do not burn bridges, and do not believe that it is your right to expect financial help from the church where you’re serving.
Get a planting coach who is familiar with the cultural context where you intend to plant.
Get a counselor.
It is not a sin and you are not less of a man to consider anti-depressants.
Be wary of planting in a context that doesn’t match you or your experiences.
People (and even churches) promise you land, money, their help, and everything else under the sun. Thank them kindly, but don’t count on it until you see it.
While you should be the point leader of the plant, I recommend planting with one other guy. Planting can be an extremely lonely business.
In the same vein, participate in your denominational planter network. If you don’t belong to a denomination, find a planting network to join.
You need to live where you’re planting.
Birth with 50 adults. I say “birth” because birth sounds like something more beautiful and painful than a “launch.” A launch is something NASA does with lots of people and money. You’ll have neither. Also, a launch will culminate in a journey that ends in a matter of days or weeks. A birth produces a baby that needs a lot of attention, learns to crawl and then walk, causes many sleepless nights, and ideally, lives and grows for a long time.
Raise a lot of money before you birth. If you’re uncomfortable with this or don’t know how, get over it and get the training you need to do it.
Act your age. Every time you plan to begin a new ministry, program, outreach or project, ask yourself, “Are we acting our age?” You can only expect so much out of an infant, a toddler, a child, a teenager, etc.
Keep your fingers on the energy pulse of your leaders and attendees. You can wear them out fast.
Say thank you all the time.
Be a good receiver. If someone wants to give you no strings attached money or pay for your meal, just accept it and say thank you and dispense with all the “No, no, I can’t accept that” baloney.
Network.
Get out of your office.
Usually not a good idea to use your house for office space. I recommend asking a local church if they would let you use space – even a Sunday school room.
Don’t whine to your attendees. Find some solid confidantes and whine to them.
Treat every visitor as a gift from God. When you’re a good steward of the gifts God gives, He gives more.
Take a Sabbath.
Expect to be overwhelmed.
Don’t keep your wife in a staff role for more than two years. If possible, avoid it altogether.
Start bi-vocationally if possible and operate that way for one year. You won’t drain away all the money you’ve raised too quickly and you’ll meet people. Some jobs are not suited for bi-vocational work. Choose carefully.
Many people are perfectly willing to chew up your time with lunches, invitations to speak, meet, hang out etc. Guard your time carefully.
Get elders around you who are 100% on board with the vision and mission and. Also choose elders who are not yes men.
Never invite an adversary into a leadership position in the hopes that you will bring him or her around to your way of thinking.
You can over-conference. Go to one or two conferences a year and leave with one or two big take-away items that you want to implement.
People come and go. That’s life.
Volunteer leaders and staff are easy to hire, hard to fire. Choose carefully.
Don’t bash other Christian leaders for any reason.
Focus on planting the church. Don’t get distracted by “great” opportunities. You’re either going to cheat your family or the plant.
Be very selective about which and how many weddings you agree to officiate. You’ll end up losing a number of your spring, summer and fall weekends with your family.
We all know the words that our culture deems to be cursing, foul language, or obscenity. Those words sometimes slip out, but avoid talking this way.
That’s all for now. More seem to occur to me every hour.

Slandered

2006-10-08T09:47:00.000-05:00

Marie Roberts found Jesus in an unlikely place. I wonder if she had sought him out before. Probably. If so, where? One would hope that Marie would see Jesus reflected in a pastor.

Dale Galloway is one of the most wonderful servants of God you'll ever have the privilege to meet. Dale was the Dean of the Beeson Institute at Asbury Theological Seminary when I was there. Dale holds the pastorate in the highest esteem. He said to me, "David, if God's called you to be a pastor, don't stoop to be a king." Dale said he wants one word on his tombstone - 'Pastor'. Pastors have the privilege of proclaiming Jesus' love as preachers and servants.

What if Marie's first acquaintance with a pastor had been Fred Phelps? Fred Phelps is a self-described pastor, but he slanders the title. When I see Fred Phelps on the evening news asserting that the God who welcomes home Prodigals (Luke 15) actually hates Prodigals, especially "fags", my blood boils. He slanders pastors, but more importantly, he slanders the prodigal loving God of Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, the woman caught in adultery and every other ragamuffin (me).

Fred has company. All the tele-pastors who continually beg for money rather than proclaim that there is a God who says to those who labor for that money, "Come to me all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest for your souls.

What if Marie had gone looking for Jesus in a church? Would she have found Him there? Or would she have been met with unfriendly stares, political commentary from the pulpit, more pleas for money?

Would she see the image of Christ in me? Since I know what's wrong with Fred Phelps and churches who can't get it right, maybe I'm the one who will represent Christ best. I have to confess though, I'm in Fred's company as well. I slander God every time I misrepresent him through my actions and failure to act. I typically misrepresent Jesus through my love. I'm deeply in love with someone who is not my wife. I'm in love with me. I relentlessly pursue my own comfort and my own well-being.

Thank God, Marie met Jesus - in an unlikely place...at her husband's funeral.

Charles Carl Roberts said goodbye to Marie and his three small children last week, drove to an Amish school building and murdered 5 children before he was killed. He leaves his family a legacy of shame, pain, heartbreak, embrassment, and tragedy. I can't begin to imagine the sadness, fear, and anger Marie felt as she and her bewildered children stood over the open grave of a husband and daddy. Her thoughts were interrupted by a blessing. A caravan of black, horse-drawn carriages made their way to the graveyard, and a stream of simple, plainly dressed Amish families poured out of the carriages. Though they were in the storm of their own blinding grief, Amish moms, dads, grandparents, brothers and sisters and friends surrounded Marie and her three small children in the deep, deep love of God - and Marie saw Jesus.